My mother tells me I once bought sweeties in pre-decimal currency - that's how long I've been on this planet. To be fair I cannot actually remember handling shillings and sixpences; but then again I struggle to remember last week.
If I was growing up today doctors would say I was hyperactive and they would have me rattling with Ritalin. But I was lucky enough to enjoy childhood in an age before the words "health" & "safety" were routinely and predictably clumped together. In retrospect I probably could have done with a small amount of H&S because as a child I genuinely thought I was invincible; so much so they knew me by name at A&E.
I grew up in Stratford on Avon, the son of a vicar but unlike Billy-Ray in the Dusty Springfield song I was no seducer of young women. When I saw a girl I liked I would bottle up just enough courage to approach her and say, "You smell" and then pull her hair and run away. Ironically it is only now I am married with children of my own that I feel completely comfortable in the company of attractive women - I hardly ever pull their hair nowadays.
I always thought I would follow my father into the church until I discovered you had to actually believe in God for that particular job. I mean honestly, red tape! So I became a lab rat instead and eventually worked my way up to lab assistant at a horticultural research establishment. I was still expendable but at least I got to play with scalpels and liquid nitrogen. I loved it there they were a great bunch to work with - scientists can be actually quite funny you know, and I don't just mean funny-peculiar. But I knew it wasn't the life for me; I was a performer, an artiste, a creative force who could not be shackled for long behind a flow bench with a pipette and a top pan balance for company.
At first radio was tough - a presenter's life is not a stable one which is ironic considering we are called disc jockeys - (Stable ... Jockey? Never mind.) But I was a single bloke with a love for music and a lot to say so I got stuck in and put up with the highs and lows of life behind the mic.
Although they haven't quite finished me off yet, I am survived by my beautiful wife Rebekah and two gorgeous children Caitlin (3) and Rex (2ish I think). In fact I am a little suspicious - they are both well beyond half-way between the gorgeousness of me and my wife. Have they inherited none of my hideous genes?
When childcare is not my main pre-occupation I like to read boring books about science and politics and I tinker in the garage trying to invent things. I have one patent to my name for a sweet that I was later informed is too expensive to make. Dragons' Den - here I don't come!
And that's me! Pretty boring I'm afraid. Sorry there will be no refund for the last five minutes of your life. All I can say is learn to speed-read.
David Guetta And Usher
Without You
7:14pm
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Maroon 5 And Christina Aguilera
Moves Like Jagger
7:03pm
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Pixie Lott
Kiss The Stars
6:51pm
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The Script
For The First Time
6:49pm
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David Guetta And Sia
Titanium
6:40pm
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Simon Morykin